Friday OzTREKK Funny
Well, it turns out that a solid foundation in the basics of grammar is helpful for all professions. Doctors’ notes need to make sense, right?
Check out this hilarious list of misplaced and dangling modifiers and a host of other grammatical nonsense. Enjoy!
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
- The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.