Friday OzTREKK Funny

Think studying arts and humanities is a joke? Why bother majoring in English or journalism (or paying attention in high school English class)?

Arts and Humanities
Contraction calamity?

Well, it turns out that a solid foundation in the basics of grammar is helpful for all professions. Doctors’ notes need to make sense, right?

Check out this hilarious list of misplaced and dangling modifiers and a host of other grammatical nonsense. Enjoy!
  • Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
  • When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
  • Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  • The patient has no past history of suicides.
  • By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
  • The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
  • Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  • The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
  • The patient refused an autopsy.
  • She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
  • The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  • While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
  • The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
  • Patient was alert and unresponsive.


    Popular posts from this blog

    University of Sydney is closing the veterinary void

    Monash University medical student joins Antarctica expedition to inspire environmental change

    New University of Melbourne student accommodation opens in the heart of Carlton